I’ve seen a lot in my years at Skatopia. I’m not allowed to mention everything I’ve seen, less some folks would do the shackle shuffle. Here goes. I’ve seen Brewce Martin attempt (with surprising success) to bang every punker slut to set foot on the property. I’ve seen fist fights, knife fights, beer fights, car fights, cat fights, mud fights and of course spud gun fights. I’ve seen Tim Glomb attempt to sword fight another man. I’ve seen naked girls mud Wrestle. Naked girls Breath fire. Naked girls touching each other. Naked girls who should have kept their clothes on. Naked girls running for their lives, usually with Brewce, naked and running after them begging for them to come back. I’ve seen Nancy Spungen get peed on and like it. Diana from Indiana even got peed on without knowing it. I’ve seen cars run over by Psycho with a bulldozer. Cars flipped, jumped, stacked up, smashed into, stabbed, beaten on with axes and hammers. Too many cars to count going out in a blaze of fire. I saw a guy set on fire moshing around. Lot’s of fires. Lots of explosions resulting in property destruction. There was even a girl playing with flash powder blew herself up three stooges style. Lucky she was. I’ve seen some of the drunkest fuckers ever driving cars and running shit over. I’ve seen drunk fuckers puke in their tent and go back to sleep. I’ve seen beer stolen. Girlfriends stolen. Weed stolen. Beer, weed and bitches, usually nothing else seems to be stolen. I’ve seen martians throwing fireworks at each other. I’ve seen Martians driving around in junker cars offering to drink my beer and give me a ride to no where. I’ve seen stupid people get smart and smart people get stupid. I’ve seen Bam Magera, CKY and crew flee for their lives thanks to Ben Schroeder. I’ve seen biblical rain bring on epic mud stranding countless. I’ve seen Motor Homes (rentals of course) driven through trees, mud holes and over stuff that 4×4’s would avoid. I’ve seen people get destroyed and bleed everywhere, all the while laughing and cleansing their wounds with beer. Too many bands to count fighting for stage time. I’ve watched the sun rise, sun set, full moon, no moon and numerous thunder storms from the top of the hill. I’ve watched skatopia grow, gaining 2 concrete bowls and a full pipe. Skatopia even made it onto the new Tony Hawk game. I watched Roach finish the cradle on the Lula bowl, then ride it like he was possessed the very next day. I’ve seen Science skating naked with beer in hand riding the Punisher Bowl like it aint no thing. I’ve seen some pissed off people leave Skatopia and never come back. I’ve watched more poeple laughing return to Skatopia year after year. I’ve watched the crowds grow larger and larger. I’ve seen some of the rarest decks in the Museum Brewce has. I could go on and on, but enoughs enough. Last but not least. I’ve seen some of the best pro’s do some of the sickest shit ever done on a skateboard. All at Skatopia, Rutland Ohio, Bum Fuck Middle of Nowhere.
Originally published in the forums atwww.skatopia.org

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